Published July 16, 2009
Prologue:
Some people just never find out how special they are until they are thrust upon whatever it is. I just happen to be one of those people.
Just imagine. If you lived your whole life believing you are just an ordinary kid and nothing extraordinary will come your way when suddenly, what you find out may not just change the world, but also yourself.
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141,368 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayyy well this is rather short prologue here. I feel like its perhaps a little too short here to really work as one. Occasionally you do get a prologue that somehow manages to still be strong enough to pull you in despite being this short, but this one really doesn't seem to be dipping into quite that territory here with how this is going.
Despite that though, what we have here is still pretty powerful. Its definitely the sort of concept that does leave you wondering about what could be hiding beside it, but the issue there is also a little related to this coming off that way because at the moment its so short and simple that it feels like its only just a little concept here. And so because of that it seems more like the idea of a what a story could be as opposed to what its trying to be.
So in that sense this prologue is both effective and also very much in need of having quite a few more things added to it, so I'd say you've got a decent bit of potential here, it just needs to expanded on quite a bit more before it can really work.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey there! Welcome to YWS!
Well, this was too terribly short, there's practically nothing to review. But. I like it.
This sounds awkward. Choose one or the other!
This was too long a sentence; so long it doesn't flow well. Break it up into shorter sentences.
To me, it sounds too vague and a little cliche. Maybe if you could introduce something specific, it would be better. Keep writing!
Hi,
Great prologue! I really enjoyed it, just keep writing so we don't all die of anticipation. Please keep me posted on when you write more.
Eagerly waiting
~Zanna
P.S. You should sign my guest book and I'd love it if you'd review my stuff too!
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Hi,
Good job so far, keep writing. I found a missing letter;
If you lived you whole life believing you are just an ordinary kid
It should be; "If you lived your whole life"...
Since it's so short I can't help you much, but keep at it! In the future I'd suggest posting longer pieces, which would give people more to review and help you out with.
~Tayla
I love it! It's interesting and it makes me want to read more, which is what a prologue must do. It was very very short, so there is not much to critique, but I'd love it if you'd post more! Pm me when you do!
Love
ofir